SCHOOL LUNCH

I just got home from having lunch with Nick at school. He's been wanting me to come dine with him forever and we finally got to do it! Let me start by saying that It's been a long time since I have eaten in a school cafeteria. Things have really improved since my time in elementary school. No more paper tickets to be punched, no sir. It's all electronic now with passcodes and such. Options are wide open, too. Back in the day it was 1) take it or 2)leave it. The choices for today included a chicken sandwich, rib dippers, peanutbutter and jelly (crustless of course) or salad bar. Nick recommended the chicken sandwich with chocolate milk so that's what we went with. The tator tots were better than I remembered and the real, fresh blueberries were delicious. I did notice that I was the only one on the table eating them and when I asked why, the table pretty much agreed that blue berries are "sick" and they "make me throw up."

With that, let me say that very few things in life are as entertaining as eating lunch with a table of six year-old boys. I kept a mental list of the things I heard and saw so that when Nick is older and I am ancient, we can recapture the moment....

"Hi, Nick's Mom."

"Who's mom are you?"

The kid in front of Nick in line asked me the following when I was walking next to Nick on the way to the cafeteria: "How do you know this kid? His name is Nick." I introduced myself to Nick and told him my name was Jenn. Nick quickly informed his friend with "Dude! That's my mom!"

"Are you conferencing with Nick today?"

"Are you Nick's mom?" I probably heard this 50 times and I was only at school for 30 minutes. I finally told them that I was actually his sister and they all believed me. Except for Nick of course.

I was dared to eat all of my pickles at once and promised "ten million thousand dollars" if I did. I swallowed those babies whole and have yet to see the money...

I went 1:3 on the staring contests.

I figured out who taught my son to belch.

Surprisingly, most of the boys can dangle a spoon from their nose.

I stole a tator tot off of Nick's tray and was firmly reprimanded with,"STOP! That is gross. We do NOT do that here!" Oh, I see....

I was offered five knuckle sandwiches.

My lunch was the only one eaten.

The very strict "NO BUDGING" rule still exists today. I slipped out of line to walk next to Nick and was quickly confronted and told "NO BUDGING. GET BACK" by my own child....

Thanks for the lunch invite, Nick. I love you buddy. Can we do it again soon?